I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
