I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
