HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
