Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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