You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
