I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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