my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish i was in the wii world.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize