Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
