We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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