I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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