Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
