Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
