who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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