you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
