We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
