Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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