hotel room ftw
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
