goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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