My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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