Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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