puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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