last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
