So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
