A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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