Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
