just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
