as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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