I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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