i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
