so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
