i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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