That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
