3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
