I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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