I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
