So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
