apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Do vagina's smell?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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