All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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