The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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