when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
