shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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