how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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