I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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