I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize