ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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