White coat. Heels.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
