yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
