There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize