my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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