we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
