I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
