i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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