She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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