He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
