i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i now understand why vodka
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
