Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
