her vagine was all disorganized.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
