I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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