this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
