I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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