Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I cockslap morals
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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