please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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