There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
